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I’m not giving up golf to babysit YOUR daughter: Husband divides opinion after standing his ground with wife
- He took to Reddit to ask if it’s reasonable not to ‘sacrifice’ his hobbies
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A husband has been defended after taking to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A******’ thread to find out if it’s reasonable he doesn’t want to ‘sacrifice’ his hobbies in order to babysit his step-daughter.
The 38-year-old explained that he and his wife Jane, 34, have been together for five years and she also brought a nine-year-old step-daughter called Emily into his life.
The pair look after her for four days a week, Monday to Thursday, then she’s at her father’s from Friday to Sunday.
He wrote ‘From the beginning, Jane told me Emily doesn’t need a second father figure as she has her dad to fill that role.
‘I was only supposed to be a trusted authority figure in case she ever needed anything’ – something he ‘didn’t mind’ as her father is a ‘good dad’.
A man is being defended after taking to Reddit ‘s ‘Am I The A******’ thread to find out if it’s reasonable that he doesn’t want to ‘sacrifice’ his hobbies in order to babysit his stepdaughter
He explained that Emily’s father recently got married and his wife has two of her own children, who Emily doesn’t get along with – ‘they’re always fighting and it’s pretty toxic’.
Adding ‘Emily’s dad asked Jane if they change their custody schedule to match his step-kids’ to keep the children apart.
‘It’s not a big deal in and of itself because we don’t live far from each other so picking and dropping is no issue and she can easily be dropped off to school no matter where she stays – the issue is my wife agreed to it without consulting me.
‘Jane is currently doing a certification course for the next 12 months and they have classes on Saturdays from 9-5pm.
‘She asked me if I can babysit Emily on Saturdays, but I can’t because I play golf with my brother and sister on Saturday mornings from 8am-1pm.
‘This has been our tradition from before Jane and Emily came into my life and I had told Jane from much before that this is important to me and my siblings.
‘She asked if I can move to another day but that’s not possible either because my siblings also have jobs and families of their own so Saturday was the best day for us.
‘I told her she can hire a babysitter but she doesn’t want to spend money when I can do it for free.
He explained that he, 38, and his wife Jane, 34, have been together for five years and she also brought a nine-year-old step-daughter called Emily into his life
‘I told her that wouldn’t work for me. She then got mad and said golf is stupid and I should put my step-daughter over my siblings.
‘That p***** me off so I told her I’m not going to sacrifice my hobbies just so that she can have a free babysitter.
He concluded ‘For the record, I don’t have anything against Emily. I’ve babysat her before and she’s a good kid.
If there was a family emergency or if it was an occasional occurrence, then yeah I would cancel golf for that day to take care of her but I can’t give up something this important to me for 12 months continuous.
She called me a selfish a****** and slept on the couch last night. So AITA?’
Other Redditors were quick to defend the stepdad, writing ‘You’re definitely NTA. You said in another comment that you have the money to pay for babysitting, but your wife just doesn’t want to spend it. Your wife is refusing to compromise at all’.
Another said ‘NTA. Your wife can’t say her daughter doesn’t need you as a stepfather, but then expect you to step up as a stepfather every single Saturday when she needs you.
Other Redditors were quick to defend the stepdad, writing ‘You’re definitely NTA. You said in another comment that you have the money to pay for babysitting, but your wife just doesn’t want to spend it. Your wife is refusing to compromise at all’
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‘She can hire a babysitter. Dad and stepmom also need to step it up and work on the relationship between the new stepsiblings and get that under control because there are going to be times they are all together in the same house, that’s just life.’
Someone else wrote ‘I was ready to read this and read you for filth, but this is truly an AH move from your wife.
‘I think it’s totally fair that she asks you to help out, but agreeing to it without talking to you, and assuming you’d consistently do this is wild! Why did she agree and then work to loop you in after?!
‘It’s also interesting that now that your wife needs your help, Emily is your “stepdaughter” where it seems like there was a clear boundary that you aren’t a father figure.
‘If your wife wants to revisit what your role is to Emily, totally cool, but it shouldn’t be because she needs a babysitter.’
One user suggested a compromise, adding ‘It sounds like this is something that should have been worked out more carefully as a family before agreeing to.
‘Is it possible that the dad/step mom change their kids schedule as well? That way they have her when Jane is busy with certification courses.
‘Is there a kids class or something like that where you go golfing? Could help integrate the two if a schedule change is not possible.’
However, the original poster came back with ‘there isn’t and even if there is, it would likely still have to be paid for. My wife doesn’t want money to be spent to take care Emily. She just wants me to do it for free.’
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