My partner and I want to make our fantasy of becoming swingers a reality | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner and I have always been uninhibited and sexually adventurous – willing to try anything once.

Now we want to push on to the next level and become swingers, but we’ve got no idea how to go about it.

I’m a 29-year-old man and my girlfriend is 34. We’ve been together for five years.

Sex has always been an important part of our relationship and neither of us is shy about trying new things.

We’ve used all manner of sex toys, tried mild S&M, made love in public places and watch porn together.

We enjoy sharing our fantasies in bed at night, describing what we would like to do to each other.

The idea that turns us on most is swinging.

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Getting physically intimate with men or women we don’t know is the ultimate turn-on.

I get so aroused at the thought of my girlfriend touching another woman or man and watching her be touched in return.

And I know we will get even more excited when we relive our experience together afterwards.

We know there are some potential pitfalls, like jealousy, but we’re grown-ups who are going into this with our eyes and minds open.

Simply talking about it isn’t doing it for us any more. We need to make it happen.

Please could you give us some advice about how we can become swingers.


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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you are very happy together and that you are both on the same page sexually.

But remember, fantasy and reality are not the same.

Many happy couples who try swinging end up irrevocably damaging their relationship because they haven’t foreseen the pitfalls.

Swinging can be a very fulfilling experience for some couples, but it requires a great deal of trust and communication if it’s to make, rather than break, your relationship.

What’s most important is that you set boundaries and rules before you go ahead, and keep talking, in case either of you changes your mind or feels uncomfortable.

It’s also vital to make sure you practise safe sex and don’t put yourself in any dangerous situations.

My support packs, Swapping And Swinging, and Sexual Fantasies, will outline what you should think about before deciding if you want to go ahead.

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