My boyfriend goes through my phone and blocks any man that messages me even though they are just friends

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend goes through my phone and blocks any man that messages me even though they are just friends. He talks to other girls and calls them “babe” or “sugar” and I haven’t objected.

If I change my PIN he automatically accuses me of cheating, even before I get the chance to explain why I have changed it. Sometimes he manages to work out my PIN and I then discover that he has deleted various phone numbers and also pictures.


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I am 25 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been together for five months. He adds random women who he doesn’t know to his phone without telling any of them he is in a relationship. 

And yet I constantly turn down men, explaining I am taken.

I love my partner to bits. I have tried talking to him and letting him know how I feel but to no avail. He just carries on. What can I do now?

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DEIDRE SAYS: He is being hypocritical. Your relationship with him doesn’t sound at all healthy. This sort of possessive jealousy can be dangerous. He can change but only if he is willing to accept the problem is his insecurity, not your behaviour. 

You are not his property. Your relationship should be an equal one. You have to find the courage to stand up for yourself. 

My support pack Dealing With Jealousy explains practical self-help.

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