I love my wife but I can't stop fantasising about older women

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE developed a thing for older women and I can’t stop fantasising about them.

I’m 47 and married to a kind, beautiful woman of 38, who I love very much.

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But last summer I met a more mature, sexy woman in her fifties at the pub where I worked.

She is a regular and I got to know her pretty well. I think I want to be with her. I’ve told her how I feel but she says she’s not ready to be with me.

Although I don’t want to cheat on my wife or hurt her by leaving, I can’t get the older woman out of my head.

I think about her all the time, even when I’m making love to my wife. What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: Ask yourself what is missing in your life and your relationship that makes you have this physical attraction to older women. When younger men are attracted to them, it is sometimes caused by unresolved issues with their own mothers.

You need to talk to your wife. Is she happy with your marriage? Counselling would help you explore your motivations and what you really want.

Contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, which can help you find counsellors (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300).

READ YESTERDAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My lover is carrying my baby but she's decided to go back to her husband

READ DEIDRE'S NEW PHOTO CASEBOOK Gabriella overhears Billy talking about leaving her because she's infertile

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