I can't find a long-term relationship because I don't like going all the way

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM a gay man of 34 who loves other men but I’m unconventional when it comes to sex, so I can’t find anyone for a long-term relationship.

I love oral sex and using my hands but that’s about it.


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I feel healthier and safer sticking to this, with lots of kissing and cuddling, but am I the only gay man like this?

I was in a club recently when a guy who obviously fancied me came over and asked me if I liked to be a top or bottom.

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When I said neither he dismissed me right away.

Am I missing out on something?

DEIDRE SAYS:  We all like different things in our sex lives, whether we are gay or straight.

You prefer to have more foreplay without the act of full sex and you feel this keeps you safe, so that is your call.

Clubs are often places where people are looking for a quick pick-up rather than a lasting relationship.

The best sex is borne out of a committed relationship, so read through my support pack Finding The Love Of Your Life, which may direct you towards finding a soulmate, rather than a one-night stand.

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