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DEAR DEIDRE: IMAGINING life without my mother and her constant criticisms is so soothing.
She is 75 and I’m 39. Everyone thinks she is lovely but I know the real person.
I was sexually abused when I was just ten years old.
When I told Mum, she confronted the perpetrator but he denied it and she believed him over me.
When I had my second child, I suffered with depression. Mum knows how tough it was for me yet she is constantly critical of my parenting skills.
Also, when she calls, she goes on and on about her life and pays no interest to mine.
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Weirdly, all her friends are closer to my age than hers. Is this because she is looking for substitute daughters?
Is it wrong to want to cut her out of my life completely?
DEIDRE SAYS: Not if you feel she brings nothing but negativity into your life. It’s a big step, though.
If you could deal with your past traumas, you might feel more able to accept your mum for the person she is.
That said, it sounds like it would be healthier to introduce some boundaries and keep her at a distance.
My support pack Abused As A Child will suggest where to get support.
If you do cut your mother out of your life, you can find help through Stand Alone (standalone.org.uk), which helps people estranged from family members.
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