British Man Gets Owned By His Own Prank After Listing His Girlfriend on eBay

If there were a book of cautionary tales specifically crafted for Things You Shouldn’t Do Online, the story of Dale Leeks and the Used eBay Girlfriend would absolutely make the cut.

As reported by CTVNews in Australia, Leeks—a regular British guy whose occupation is listed as “full time legend” on Facebook—posted his girlfriend, Kelly Greaves, for auction on eBay after the two got in some sort of (playful) ass slapping-related tizzy.

While Greaves—who Leeks has been dating for a year—was getting ready for a night out, Leeks reportedly snuck onto the computer and posted her as a “miniature collectible” on eBay. He listed her simply and succinctly as “Girlfriend,” and wrote that she made “constant whining noises,” and has a “rear end that leaks a bit but nothing that can’t be plugged.”

CTVNews reports Leeks showed his girlfriend the post, who laughed it off before the two left for their outing.

But then the notifications started rolling in—bids were coming in from all over the world, and when eBay finally removed the ad 24 hours after it was first posted, the highest bid had reached £70,200, or nearly $100,000.

“They told me I couldn’t sell a human being,” Leeks told CTVNews. Which, duh, of course—this is all completely illegal and dumb. You absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, post a human on eBay, or any other website, for sale. And given the horrific reality of human trafficking, this was truly a joke in terrible taste.

Greaves and Leeks were reportedly friends for a decade before they started dating, which Leeks offers up as evidence that Greaves knew what she was getting into when she started dating him.

“She couldn’t get into a relationship with me like this if she couldn’t take a joke,” he told CTVNews. “This is a just a normal day living with me, really, I do stuff like this all the time.”

Sounds like a blast!

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