My husband is gay but we're married with two kids – I don't care, I know he loves me and we still have great sex

A WOMAN has revealed how she's married to a gay man and the pair have two young kids together.

It doesn't bother 35-year-old Brynn Embley though and she and Matthew Neilson, 33, still have great sex and chemistry.


In fact, the pair are happily married and keep their relationship on track with weekly sex feedback sessions.

The mum-of-two describes herself as straight while her husband Matthew identifies as gay or pansexual, admitting he is "more attracted to men than women".

Before they married in 2017 Matthew had dated both men and women but he'd never had sex with anyone, including Brynn.

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And despite admitting he didn't know if he'd ever enjoy being intimate with her, they tied the knot and became parents.

Brynn admits she sometimes feels insecure, but said she feels the relationship is stronger because it's NOT focused on physical chemistry.

The pair are members of the of Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints – a faith which doesn't condone same sex relationships – and Matthew admits a strong motivation for dating women was so he didn't have to be single and celibate forever.

Brynn met Matthew for the first time at church in early 2016 and just a few dates in, he revealed he was gay.

Matthew had known he was attracted to men since he was a teenager, but he belonged to the Church which does not encourage homosexual relationships.

He dated women throughout his twenties while being honest about his orientation, receiving mixed responses, so he was nervous about what Brynn would think.

However, to his surprise, she shrugged it off.

The mum-of-two, who lives in Ypsilanti, Michigan, USA, said: "He looked straight at me and said 'Brynn, I'm gay.' I remember it because he seemed so serious – or like he was looking for some sort of reaction from me.

"It just wasn't a huge deal, he was with me, his choice – what else mattered?

"I already knew that we didn't have a strong chemical attraction like I had experienced with other boyfriends, but it didn't really matter to me.

"I know he thinks I'm attractive, and I know he's drawn to me, and his sexual orientation didn't negate those things.

"I was really happy that I had a relationship where the selling point was liking and respecting each other as people."

I know he thinks I'm attractive, and I know he's drawn to me, and his sexual orientation didn't negate those things.

They dated for a few months before he ended their relationship, partly because Matthew had strong feelings about a man.

He said: "I don't think that I actually had a lot of emotional bandwidth at that time because I was still trying to deal with my strong feelings about another guy.

"It didn't feel fair to either of us to keep up the relationship if I wasn't sure about that basic attraction."

They remained friends, but even Brynn's then boyfriend said they had chemistry, and they started dating again in September 2017.

Matthew, a postdoctoral researcher in psychology, said: "It was definitely a leap of faith, because I still wasn't certain what sex with Brynn, or any woman, would look like.

"But we trusted that the other elements of our relationship were there and if that part was more difficult, we could work on it together."

Brynn said: "There was this mutual feeling of complete and utter happiness – like he was my person."

Matthew added: "I still was uncertain about the strength of our sexual connection.

"I tried to be as open as I could that I wasn't sure whether I would even enjoy sex with her or with any woman.

"But I think we both felt reassured that we enjoyed cuddling, holding hands, and kissing."

The unconventional pair keep their relationship on track with therapy and weekly sex discussions calendared in for every Thursday, where they offer feedback and tips.

Brynn said: "We enjoyed kissing, and hoped everything else would at least be okay.

"I think that many more people are gay, bi, pan, or other, than have made that known openly.

There was this mutual feeling of complete and utter happiness – like he was my person.

"A lot of my previous relationships revolved around that chemical attraction, not having that be the driving force was refreshing.

"I think that liking and matching with a person is so much more central to a long-term relationship.

"And it turns out that the sex thing works great, so it all worked out!"

Matthew added: "I had never had sex before, with a man or a woman.

"I didn't even really know myself how strong my orientation to one gender or another might be.

"While I was more attracted to men, in general, there had been a few women to whom I was really attracted.

"I had a strong motivation to try really hard to make it work with a woman so that I didn't have to be lonely and celibate for the rest of my life.

"Obviously, not a great place for me or most of the women that I was dating.

"I've heard gay men say that they can't even imagine trying to be sexual with a woman, and I have never felt that way.

"It is still not the strongest part of our relationship, it is easy for me to wonder about what I might be missing if I were in a relationship with a man.

"But that being said, we do enjoy having sex and being together in that way, which is a relief!"

The couple went to Manti, Utah to finally tie the knot on December 27 2017, and were finally able to be intimate with each other.

Brynn said: "For a while I would get stressed out if we weren't having sex a certain number of times each week, because I thought it meant that Matthew wasn't enjoying it enough.

"That's not the case, and I try to remember that if we both feel satisfied sexually that's all that matters."

They even have weekly sex discussions calendared in for every Thursday.

Brynn said: "We share whether we need more, if there's anything the other can do to help make that a better part of our marriage, and so forth."

While Brynn is a straight woman, Matthew's sexuality isn't linear and he has identified as gay, pansexual and bisexual.

He said: "Pansexual is probably the most accurate – but it doesn't feel all the way right because I am still mostly attracted to men."

The unusual couple are now four years into their relationship, are happy and monogamous, and have two daughters – Guinevere, one, and two-year-old Amandine.

Brynn said: "Our religion teaches that marriage is only between a man and a woman, but we also want our children to be happy and secure in who they are and what or who they choose and are drawn to.

"Our goal is to support them whatever that looks like.

"There are also people who assume things about our relationship that are just plain wrong, "I really try not to focus on the negative or let negative comments get me down – but they do, and one way I combat that is by sharing.

"We are so happy in this quirky, unique, sublime relationship."

You can follow Brynn and Matthew on Instagram at @gayprofessordad.

Meanwhile, this woman avoided sex until she was18 so she wouldn’t be called ‘s*ut’ – but she got pregnant the FIRST TIME when the morning after pill failed.

For more real life stories, one girl revealed "I didn’t know I was pregnant until I went to A&E thinking I had terrible constipation and my waters broke".

Plus, a woman shared "doctors said I was HIV positive and then my boyfriend left me – later I was told they’d got my diagnosis very wrong".


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