The seven mid-life sex questions you don’t dare ask… answered by a top therapist Psycho-sexual therapist Kate Moyle reveals tried and tested solutions to common…
A SELF-CONFESSED love addict finally broke the cycle after dating her fertility doctor – who ghosted her after freezing her eggs.
Paige Wilhide, 36, said the experience opened her eyes to her relationship addiction after experiencing "withdrawal" when the medical practitioner stopped speaking to her.
The breakup coach from LA shared how getting a text from him would feel like "taking hits of meth", and she was left unable to eat or sleep when he disappeared from her life.
She said: "I froze my eggs and I had an attraction to the doctor that was freezing my eggs. It wasn’t until after the procedure that it became a flirtier situation.
"I got really high on feeling this man’s attention. I remember getting a text message from him and it felt like I was taking hits of meth or heroin.
"Then he ghosted me and it was like a withdrawal. It was like I was crazy – I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t eat, I could not stop thinking about him.
"This whole thing took me completely out of my life. For me, it really woke me up to how obsessed I was about men and how much it was doing damage to my mental health.
"He’s actually not at that clinic anymore so if I ever wanted to get my eggs I would just contact the clinic. Thank God."
Paige made the most of her love life while in her 20s, dating as many as 25 guys in two months.
At first she enjoyed the excitement that came from making new connections, and had steamy experiences with a range of attractive men she met.
Most read in Fabulous
My wife slept with a schoolboy – I saw her in jail & turned my back forever
Strictly star split from fiance after 'falling in love' with dance partner
Harry Kane’s baby could be born in Munich and eligible to play for GERMANY
How deadly super-drug leaving trail of bodies across US could soon flood UK
The blonde bombshell was courted by everyone from her boss's brother to a New York firefighter.
She said: "I lived in NYC and it was like a playground for me in my 20s. I don’t have a type, I would kind of date anybody. If he’s a man, he’s my type.
"I’ve dated all kinds of people. I’ve had experience with love bombers who fall in love instantly. I’ve had partners who have wanted to marry me after two or three dates.
"I dated my boss’s brother at some point. It was so lovely. He was a hot British man.
"I met him at some party. We started flirting and exchanged some contact info. I don’t know if she knows that we dated.
"I met a guy while I was on a plane coming back to New York. I had been away at a wedding with my ex-boyfriend, and he broke up with me there.
"I was devastated on the plane and crying the whole way home. When the plane was landing I started talking to the guy next to me and he was a NYC firefighter.
"I was crushing on him so hard. We exchanged numbers and started dating – and I realised I had met him two years before that.
"He also was a bartender at one of my favourite bars, which I found out later, and at that bar two years before I had taken off my bra and he hung it from the ceiling.
"So we reunited on a plane two years later and started having this really wild little fling. I would get to go to the NYC firehouse and we hooked up in the firehouse."
But eventually the relationship expert realised that her dependence on male attention was affecting her mental health.
She began to see a pattern of having extreme emotional highs while getting validation from a romantic experience, but then crashing when it was taken away.
The American performer has written a Fringe show called Breakup Addict about how she went from relying on relationships to becoming completely celibate for a year and a half.
She is putting on the show every day in Edinburgh at the Gilded Balloon from August 2 to 27 at 4.30pm.
Paige joined a 12-step program for love addiction, and hopes that her story can help other people with the same problem to break free of the need for attention from others.
She found her current partner while practising 'sober dating', a method that involves limiting how many dates she goes on in a week and not being physically intimate until she's met someone three times.
She said: "When I first started in the program I worked with a sponsor. She had me go through withdrawal.
"I had to cut out any connection with men for 30 days. I had to go to a meeting every day. That was the hardest thing, because I no longer had that validation.
"I had an identity death. I just didn’t know who I was anymore.
"I was celibate for a year and a half. I didn’t go on any dates, I didn’t have any sex, I didn’t interact intimately with any men.
"The program advised 30 days but I knew I needed longer. I knew that when I was ready to date again I would feel ready.
"I had a sober dating plan. I actually planned out my rules around dating that would keep me clear-headed. By sober it doesn’t necessarily mean without alcohol. Just sober minded.
"Some of those restrictions were: no physical intimacy for the first three dates. No kissing, no hand holding.
"Dates would have to be a week apart. No day after, three days in a row kind of dates. Then one hour at a time – usually during the day.
"As I started sober dating, I would usually go on a one hour walks with somebody, and that was the date. Just keeping it very simple, nothing extra. Just to see – do we have an emotional connection?"
Although Paige initially got nervous that men would reject her when she refused to kiss until the third date, she found that by setting clear boundaries she ended up meeting nicer men.
She added: "I think because I was so addictive I was attracting other addicts. Whether they drank a lot, or had some kind of validation addiction, or porn addiction, I attracted a lot of addicts before.
Read More on The Sun
I was homeless & addicted to drugs – now I’m a self-made millionaire
Strictly star split from fiance after ‘falling in love’ with dance partner
"Now I noticed the people I was attracting were so different. They were more grounded, they listened really well.
"I only went on a few sober dates before I met my now-partner. He said, ‘As long as I know you like me, we can go on as many dates as you need to.’ It’s been really incredible to have such a solid and respectful partnership. It’s been about five months now."
Source: Read Full Article