Last night’s episode of Riverdale was a bonkers blast from the past, with our entire crew taking the place of their parents in a flashback narrated by Alice Cooper. Finally, the origin of ‘Gryphons and Gargoyles’ and the elder generation’s deep dark secret were both brought to light. But even more important, somewhat disturbing details were revealed that you may have missed under all that ’80s hair and cosplay.
We already knew that Alice Cooper, née Smith, became pregnant with Chic while hooking up with FP Jones in high school, but did you know the nefarious beginnings of Penelope and Clifford Blossom’s marriage?
Here, nine details you need to know about mom and daddy from the Breakfast Club spinoff episode, ‘The Midnight Club’. Warning: spoilers past this point.
Now we know where Archie gets it. The lead singer and guitarist of the Fred Heads—which has a pretty gross definition on Urban Dictionary—used to carry around drum sticks and had big dreams of being mayor of Riverdale while playing gigs on the weekend and taking care of his sick father. But after Fred’s father passed away and Principal Featherhead was killed, the boy with a heart of gold sold his guitar and set his sights on the construction business.
It’s also important to note the other members of The Fred Heads: FP on drums, Alice on keyboards, Sierra McCoy on backup vocals, and Hermione on tambourine. I don’t know if this was a one night only performance, but we’re definitely going to be needing an encore event at some sort of town talent show.
2. Hermione’s mom worked at the Five Seasons, where the Lodges now live.
A true rags to riches story, Hermione chose young Hiram Lodge (portrayed by Mark Consuelos’s son and vocal soundalike Michael Consuelos) because she saw potential in the “petty thief” and was determined not to end up cleaning up after rich people like her mother. We didn’t meet Hermione’s mom in this episode, but she’s my new favorite character because she refers to Hiram as a scrub.
3. FP Jones didn’t want to be a Serpent.
Before turning to G&G, the detention crew starts by playing a game of secrets and sins. Young FP (who sports a bulldog letterman) was called out by Alice for pretending to live on Elm Street (nice Freddy Krueger reference, Roberto) when in reality he grew up in the Sunny Side trailer park on the south side.
In a scene stripped straight from TBC, FP said he’d do anything to not turn into his father, who ran with the Serpents, drank too much, and beat him. It’s especially heartwrenching when you consider how Jughead lived in season one and how hard he, too, resisted the gang before going all in.
4. Sierra McCoy and Tom Keller dated in high school.
While this development is actually extremely sweet, what’s disturbing is that the couple was forced apart by their parents for being too “different” (i.e. she’s black and he’s white). But this definitely adds a new layer of sympathy to their affair years later, while Keller’s wife serves her country overseas.
5. Penelope Blossom’s childhood was a nightmare.
In what was definitely the most unsettling moment of the episode, Penelope revealed that she grew up in the Sisters of Quiet Mercy orphanage until the Blossom matriarch arrived asking to see all the red haired children. She was then adopted and groomed to be Clifford’s sister and, later, his wife. Seriously, what is with that family and incest? This isn’t Game of Thrones.
Though Penelope joined The Midnight Club as game master to take control of her own life and rebel, she ultimately chose to stick with Cliff after the events of the ascension party.
6. Alice and Fred have hooked up.
We knew about Alice and FP’s high school fling and that she’d ultimately marry Hal Cooper. We also knew Hermione and Fred dated while Hiram was still in prison, so it wasn’t much of a surprise to see them joined at the hip in this flashback episode. What was completely unexpected was the brief hookup between Fred and Alice during a G&G quest.
Falice is weird enough considering how serious Bughead has become (especially if you believe their child is still alive somewhere), but now even Barchie’s few hookups feel tainted. FP and Hermione better stay far, far away from each other is all I’m saying.
7. Dilton’s dad also played G&G, the game that would later take his son’s life.
Not much to say about this, it’s just sad.
8. FP Jones also wore a crown.
Resident weirdo Jughead Jones seems to have inherited his father’s taste in headwear. During their games, FP wore a curved crown similar to the original Archie Comic design. It’s a fun nod to Jughead’s beanie, even though I have no idea what it has to do with his G&G character, Dead Eye.
9. Alice Cooper is The Sorceress.
Speaking of G&G avatars, Alice picked The Sorceress. “Maybe I’ll make all you nerds disappear,” she joked. But it’s actually an interesting choice, considering the many fan theories that Alice is a witch and that she recently joined a cult that may or may not levitate babies. What do you think?
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